An entire box of tissues later...

I'm ill. ;_; I spent these two days blowing my nose and sneezing. Now my eyes have began to water as well. And tomorrow there's a convention! T_T I really want to see the cosplay. I'm not going to participate in it, but now I guess I'll have to show up there like Kakashi, wearing a mask. :\

I want to get better for tomorrow. :)

A dream

Last night I dreamt about reading a new Naruto manga chapter. And the funny thing was that I was watching every panel with detail; my brain produced a couple of manga pages while sleeping, something I haven't been able to do while awake. It's a bit unfair... -.-

The story was set between Sasuke's defection and Naruto leaving with Jiraiya for training. (That's what happens when you read volumes 26 and 27 before you go to sleep.)

The first thing I saw was Sasuke sneaking into a cave, which was weird but I didn't think much of it. I knew this was somewhere in Konoha. And I was thinking: "How did he get away from Orochimaru? I know he had freedom, but still... And how was he able to enter Konoha unnoticed?"
The next thing I saw was Naruto, in the cave, sleeping on the couch, completely sprawled and unguarded. Sasuke looked down at him, and he placed a blanket over him, tucking him in. Naruto was sleeping with his mouth slightly open, but not quite snoring nor drooling.
The next moment, Sasuke leans over, and plants a little kiss on Naruto's upper lip. And I immediately thought: "Oh my god, he's sooo in love with him!" I was so happy that this was actually canon and that Kishimoto-sensei had the courage to draw this! I got so excited that I couldn't read more and ran off to tell my boyfriend (poor thing, he's a dear for putting up with me :P).

It was a very cool dream. :D The manga was so detailed that it didn't seem like a dream at all. Sometimes you have such a nice dream that when you wake up you feel sad because it wasn't true after all, but this wasn't the case. I was happy that such nice scene took place in my mind. Another funny thing was that I was always thinking in English, although it isn't my native language. But it's not rare for me to think in English; it's a way to practice.

I did buy manga volumes last Saturday: numbers 15, 16, and 25 to 27. I'm glad that I got this many. :) Especially the 25^th and 26^th. T_T

Naruto chapter 385

Oh god.
Holy jesus fucking christ.

I shouldn't be cursing so much, but DAMN! Kishimoto-sensei knows how to do his stuff. I had a freakin' intellectual mental orgasm over the chapter, at least that's how I describe the feeling I got when reading it. :P

I already read it 3 times. I'm still trying to grasp every little detail that's implied. Because this is a chapter of revelations. Oh yes. Finally, we get to know a little more about what the hell really happened in the Uchiha district 8(?) years ago. Can't say I wasn't expecting half of it already, but seeing it like that, in canon, officially... man, it's awesome! :D

I'm thrilled. I'm happy. Naruto is great. :) Tomorrow I'll probably buy more manga volumes to add to my collection if there's still any left at the comic store. I'm missing numbers 6, 7, 10-16, 19-whatever's been published till now.

And this is the fic that I've been reading the past 3 days. Sugahlei is so my new favourite author. She's one of those people that get me doubly depressed, in a good way though, like I described in my previous post. Go read her stuff. Now! :P

Yup, it happened

Akemashite omedetô, minna! It's a bit late for this, I know, but it doesn't matter.

It happened, the thing I feared. The pill I'm on sucks even worse than the previous because, in addition to lowering my libido, it doesn't eliminate the acne on my back and chest, and in fact I've never had it as bad as now. -.- Damn.

Fanfiction production has decreased. The fact that I just realised I can't write doesn't help at all. -_- I mean, I have always have this annoying ambition to be better than everyone, or at least as good as the best, and it's stupid and useless because there is always someone who is going to be better than you at something, and instead of practising by writing a lot, I just give up and don't finish anything. The same goes for drawing. In my life, I can say that I have completed only 2 illustrations. And I don't sketch nearly enough for me to improve my skills. I hate being lazy, but I have to take responsibility for my actions, or lack thereof. Aw crap. -_-

The truth is I write better than some authors out there that pollute the fanfiction world with their lack of quality, who don't even bother to keep the characters "in character" (sorry for the repetition), but I have my own standards and if something sucks I'd rather not show it to the world. Another thing that annoys me is those "FIRST FIC, be gentle" warnings in summaries. So what if it's your first? It should stand on its own without the pity of your readers. I'm being too mean, aren't I? -_-" I am frustrated and this is my place to vent... so... to apply another common warning, "don't like it, don't read it". But hey, I give those authors credit for having the courage to expose their work and be judged by the readers, they actually finished something and published it. That's more than I've ever done.

I wish I had more vocabulary, too. I wish I knew how to make good descriptions, and how to use figures of speech like metaphors and synesthesiae and all the literary stuff I learned back in school, which I actually found interesting back then but now I can't remember. :\ And I wish I could decide on whether to write in British or American English. I prefer the British, but I'm afraid of not being consistent as I am much more exposed to the American culture. I don't like writing in my own language.

I've really got to stop reading wonderfully written angsty fanfiction because it depresses me doubly, as in "damn, this is gooood, there's no way I'll write something as good as this" and "damn, this is saaaad, too depressing to even cry".

I'm gonna sleep now.